Women are sometimes threatened by their beau's ex, but I think you should thank her for molding the man that you are dating today. That's often the role I play -- preparing men for marriage -- because hey, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!
As I've noted before, it's hard to date me, not because I'm unreasonable but because I know what I deserve. I'm never obnoxious about it, and I've been fortunate in that men who date me want to see me happy. And ladies, that should always be the case! Never date a man who puts himself first at all times. He will never be more than "that guy you're dating."
So, how do I prepare these men? First, you must be the ultimate gentleman: pull out my chair, help me with my coat, open the door. Old-fashioned? Yes. A way to determine whether he has other desirable qualities? Absolutely! Second, show you want to be there. That means pay when we go out, plan romantic trips, and surprise me once in a while. I don't want your money, and I would like you to act as if you know that. Men who are not generous in the small ways are not going to make good boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. Third, keep it interesting. Being in a relationship is not an excuse to be lazy! Hold my attention, and I'll stick around.
As much as I train the men with regards to what they need to do, I also show them what they should be looking for in a quality woman. I will go out of my way for a man who I feel deserves it. These men learn that they shouldn't put a ring on anyone who won't take a bullet for them...well maybe a paintball cartridge.
Similarly, when I meet a man who needs training at a later age, I pity the women who "put up" with him. Maybe they enjoyed dating him; maybe they thought it was the normal course of dating. Are their expectations and standards so low?
So ladies, when you do meet a quality man, write off any potential jealousy and give a slight nod to his ex...she contributed to making the (real) man standing before you today.
--Professor Pistolera
Interesting. I can definitely see that Profesora Pistolera was very inspired today. She makes a lot of good points but also makes some generalizations that must be addressed.
Overall, I don't think Pistolera is doing anything different than what most women do over the course of their relationships. Every lady has had a hand in molding their ex-aliens for their next relationship whether they like it or not. And you must consider the other side of the coin. Ladies, all of your ex-aliens have prepared you for future relationships as you slowly start to comprehend how aliens think.
I agree with Pistolera that men should aspire to be with a woman of the highest standard. I also get that if you are to acquire a women of standard you must be deserving of it. In other words, aliens should treat women the way they deserved to be treated: quite well.
Now, here's the catch: men and women are both very selfish. No one wants to put themselves out there without some guarantee that it will be reciprocated in some fashion. Ladies need to ensure that they are actively providing examples of why they should be considered high quality. You can't just sit there and expect all the magic to happen (too easy I know). An alien is more willing to act like they have sense if a woman "comes correct." A lot of issues happen when men and women wait for the other person to give when it should be mutual.
And ladies, don't be threatened by your alien's ex; be excited for the next alien that pistolera is going to throw your way. I am quite certain he will be equipped to handle the job of treating you like the lady you are.
Jedi vanish...
DVJ
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