Okay you aliens, let's get straight to the point with this one. In the ever changing world of relationships and dating I believe that you have to utilize all of your assets. We've all seen those commercials with match.com, highlighting all the great relationships that start through their website. (sidebar: I'm waiting for someone to do a parody of the worst dates set up through Match.com; I think that would be good television). I'm not saying that you have to change your entire dating style up but time and time again online dating has proven itself as a viable option.
What's the real purpose of this post? First, I think Pistolera will have a field day with this one so I'm very eager to see what she has to say. Second, I find myself talking with a lot of ladies who are tired of the same old dating scene but won't do online dating because there's still a stigma attached to it. No more stigma ladies, what's the worst that could happen? And if something bad does happen, don't worry; I have a lightsaber and will travel.
Ninja smoke, I'm out!
-DVJ
Let me begin by saying I believe in the spontaneity of dating -- the old-fashioned story of boy meets girl and courts girl. And, I believe online dating takes away some of the mystery that makes dating "in real life" so interesting -- unraveling detail by detail of yourself and of the other person.
Even so, there is a great efficiency to online dating. The sites cut through all of the nonsense by targeting the age groups, religions, and ethnicities you most desire -- and that you may not be able to find in your own 10-mile radius. It works for the same reason that being set up by friends works -- the online dating engine, like your best friends, knows your likes and dislikes, hones in on your wants and needs, and provides you with a buffer in case things don't work out so well. Plus, how could a service with all the relevant information about you not provide a higher hit ratio than the blind universe? While there is something romantic to be said about fate, what can be more romantic than finding just the person you've been looking for? (Am I starting to sound like an eharmony commercial yet?!?)
I know many people for whom online dating sites have proven very successful; however, they tell me that dating via these sites is like a full-time job. Even though the sites conduct the first screen, you need to go on a number of dates in a short period of time to narrow down the remaining options. This isn't unlike dating in the real world, with the difference being that people on these sites -- at least the larger ones that screen their members -- are looking for relationships, so I assume continuing to date someone means more than "I'm bored," which tends to be my default dating MO.
I've never been on any of the sites, but I have been tempted. I think I've held myself back because there's a certain vulnerability when you put yourself on the site -- people know about you and can make judgments before you've had a chance to do so yourself. In the real world, I don't engage people I am not at least slightly interested in getting to know, but online, you are there -- exposed -- for everyone to see.
Maybe I'd have more success online. I just believe strongly a man should pursue a woman, and if I make it clear that I'm looking for a relationship, that may change the dynamic I'm comfortable with. Nonetheless, I agreed yesterday to sign up as an incentive for a friend who needs a little push in the dating department, so stay tuned...I'm jumping in!
-- Pistolera
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