Gone in 60 seconds?

Greetings Earth Women,

Can a woman figure out all they need to know about a man just by looking at him during that first sixty seconds of initial contact? Or said bluntly, do woman decide whether they'll "superman that gentleman" immediately after meeting him? I think there are too many mixed messages out there.  On one hand, the great television tells me women decide whether they want to sleep with guys almost immediately.  Once she decides, she lures the guy back to her house where she breaks out the bud light and her twin sister. Oh wait, I'm sorry that was last night's beer commercial (those guys are geniuses).   On the other hand, real life shows instances of dudes wearing down women all the time by being persistent.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman say, "I'll never do anything with that dude in a million years" and then subsequently hear them talk about their night of passion because he just keep pursuing me for months, well, let's just say I'd be in Vegas right now.


So Pistolera, keep it real with a dark Sith lord.  Do ladies really know if they'll sleep with a dude the moment they look at him?  And for our little underage viewers, replace "sleep with" with ice cream socials (I mean it!): no one is too young for a Jedi death grip.

-- Darth Vader Jr.

Well, Darth, that's a great question.  A woman, like any human being, makes a decision in the first 60 seconds (well, it may take longer depending on the situation, but let's just go with your timeline).   That decision, however, can change in a much shorter period of time -- making a man more or less attractive. A man can never go from 0 to 60: I will never engage with a man who I was initially repulsed by.  A man, however, can go from 30 to 60 and back: if I'm lukewarm on a man or don't want to commit too strongly to a situation before feeling it out, I will sit back and observe and let him prove himself.

In much simpler terms, there has never been a situation in which I was so smitten that I decided I wanted to be with a man no matter how he acted.  Charm, charisma, and effort go a long way in getting a man whatever he wants in the same way that not giving a woman attention, being a cheapskate, not being interesting, or generally acting like he doesn't want to be there -- I don't chase men -- will immediately turn a woman off.

I, for one, like to make informed decisions.  I keep a tight circle around me and only let in those who are worthy of it (of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, ie I may be bored at that particular time and allow a man to entertain me temporarily).  So, initial attraction can quickly turn to repulsion -- or even greater attraction.  And, effort can get a guy -- attractive or not -- very far in his dating life.  Show you want to be there, and she'll keep you around: there's no need for any woman to waste her time on a man who shows no interest in being there (see the last post).

Generally, the decision made is do I want to find out more about you after the first 60 seconds?  If there's even an inkling of a "yes" in response to that question, I'll see you again.  If I'm not intrigued, I may see you, but chances are there will be no ice cream socials (or they will be short-lived).

-- With love, Pistolera