Good day to all of my fellow aliens, I hope everyone is diligently preparing for summer festivities. I’m here sitting in my spaceship, and I just thought of an interesting question to ask Pistolera and the rest of our faithful readers. What is the process in which women categorize the men in their lives? I believe the popular phrase is Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now.
In my sophomoric imagination, I would think there would be a long questionnaire that a man would have to fill out. Based on that questionnaire, coupled with a few dates and maybe a few “test drives,” the woman could properly categorize that man and their future interactions.
What are the prerequisites? Are there advantages of being in one group versus the other? Can a man switch from one group to other over the course of the woman knowing him?
In my opinion, I would like to create a third category, Mr. Hugh Hefner. Now Mr. Hugh Hefner would be that guy that you know who lives in a mansion with beautiful aliens and has delightful parties all while managing a multi-million dollar company. You know, he doesn’t care how he’s categorized; he’s comfortable living as he is -- his own man.
Lightsabers up!
Darth Vader Jr.
Here's a question for you in return: have you ever looked at a couple and said, who would ever date/marry/touch that person? Well, I have - and you're lying if you say you haven't. The conclusion I've come to is that there is a Mr./Ms. Right for everyone. So, if we assume there is only one for us (this is a highly debatable point, I know), by definition everyone who comes before is only Mr. Right Now.
Women do categorize, and the advantages of being in one category versus another depends on the man's purposes. If he wants to hit-it-and-quit-it, he probably doesn't care -- he's going to leave anyway. If he wants to be in a relationship with the woman, he can still do that in either case, but she'll be a bit more settled (and content) in the relationship if she thinks he's Mr. Right from the start. If she thinks you are Mr. Right Now, she is still looking for Mr. Right, so she's not focused on you and seeing your full potential. There are also dangers to one side thinking the other is the Right one: when both sides are not on the same page, it inevitably leads to hurt feelings and broken hearts.
Most men don't care how they're classified, in my experience. Their romantic notions are a lot different than women's, and they probably believe that when they find Ms. Right, she will think they are Mr. Right. They may not be wrong: most women are happy to be in a relationship (something I have issues with) and don't leave for the (many) reasons I would, ie. I've outgrown him, am bored of him, or know I can do better.
Your question assumes every woman is looking for that one Mr. Right and will go through plenty of Mr. Right Nows, tossing them aside, until she finds the Right one. I don't agree with this approach. I value the time spent with a person whether or not I intend to pursue a long-term relationship; that is how you find out about a person and whether or not you can endure them for the long term. Snap judgments don't benefit anyone in dating; they will always lead to disappointment with your writing someone off too soon or building them up so that there is no way the reality can measure up.
But, both men and women should not "settle" just because someone checks the boxes either. I can't tell you how many dull conversations I've had to endure with guys who check all the boxes, making me long for a high school dropout with a love of life and great conversational skills.
So, I say: get out there, find interesting people, and enjoy life. The only way to find Mr. Right (whether or not he starts off as Mr. Right Now) is to truly get to know the person without jumping lightyears ahead into marriage, kids, and a lifetime together. Mr. Right Now could turn into Mr. Right with some training, and the one you initially thought was Mr. Right could disappoint you. That's the funny thing about dating -- you never know where it will take you.
-- Deuces, Pistolera
Here's a question for you in return: have you ever looked at a couple and said, who would ever date/marry/touch that person? Well, I have - and you're lying if you say you haven't. The conclusion I've come to is that there is a Mr./Ms. Right for everyone. So, if we assume there is only one for us (this is a highly debatable point, I know), by definition everyone who comes before is only Mr. Right Now.
Women do categorize, and the advantages of being in one category versus another depends on the man's purposes. If he wants to hit-it-and-quit-it, he probably doesn't care -- he's going to leave anyway. If he wants to be in a relationship with the woman, he can still do that in either case, but she'll be a bit more settled (and content) in the relationship if she thinks he's Mr. Right from the start. If she thinks you are Mr. Right Now, she is still looking for Mr. Right, so she's not focused on you and seeing your full potential. There are also dangers to one side thinking the other is the Right one: when both sides are not on the same page, it inevitably leads to hurt feelings and broken hearts.
Most men don't care how they're classified, in my experience. Their romantic notions are a lot different than women's, and they probably believe that when they find Ms. Right, she will think they are Mr. Right. They may not be wrong: most women are happy to be in a relationship (something I have issues with) and don't leave for the (many) reasons I would, ie. I've outgrown him, am bored of him, or know I can do better.
Your question assumes every woman is looking for that one Mr. Right and will go through plenty of Mr. Right Nows, tossing them aside, until she finds the Right one. I don't agree with this approach. I value the time spent with a person whether or not I intend to pursue a long-term relationship; that is how you find out about a person and whether or not you can endure them for the long term. Snap judgments don't benefit anyone in dating; they will always lead to disappointment with your writing someone off too soon or building them up so that there is no way the reality can measure up.
But, both men and women should not "settle" just because someone checks the boxes either. I can't tell you how many dull conversations I've had to endure with guys who check all the boxes, making me long for a high school dropout with a love of life and great conversational skills.
So, I say: get out there, find interesting people, and enjoy life. The only way to find Mr. Right (whether or not he starts off as Mr. Right Now) is to truly get to know the person without jumping lightyears ahead into marriage, kids, and a lifetime together. Mr. Right Now could turn into Mr. Right with some training, and the one you initially thought was Mr. Right could disappoint you. That's the funny thing about dating -- you never know where it will take you.
-- Deuces, Pistolera
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